Memphis 2: fun for the hunter-gatherer
The thought of a massive shopping centre isn't usually cause for the h-g's eyes to light up. That is until we get to Memphis and he hears about Bass Pro Shops. This is 22 million cubic feet - you read that right - under one roof.
Luckily that roof is pointy as this is a pyramid and most of those cubic feet are thin air, but that still means two full floors of huntin', shootin', fishin' paraphernalia. From a custom made $22,000 Beretta shotgun to a camo pattern easy chair, it's ALL here. As you can imagine, I was weak with excitement at the prospect of the hours the h-g would spend looking at fishing tackle.
Amanda and I amused ourselves by engaging in conversation with a shop assistant (where y'all from?) who schooled us on US immigration - "ya'lls lucky - in Noo Zealand they caint just walk over the border" - and international diplomacy and internal politics "five years ago Putin said America would be four countries an' it's happenin'. I wish California would be it's own country - those rich people don't understand middle America and now they won't let him (the President) get on with the job".
We find light relief in the Beretta gallery "1 of only 7 in the world!". Andrew, a lovely salesman opened the multiply locked gun cases and let us rack sidearms and crack shotguns.
The h-g was still looking at fishing tackle so we calmed ourselves by going to the 84,000 gallon alligator pit, handily located next to the children's department. The alligators were doing what alligators do 99% of the time. Exactly nothing.
Once enough fishing flies had been examined and purchased we all rode the tallest free standing elevator in America to the top of the pyramid, 300 feet above Memphis and the Mississippi River.
Mercifully there was a bar to go along with the 360 degree views.