Memphis 3: Put some South in your mouth

 Memphis 3: put some South in your mouth

 

Oh yeah, they're subtle down here. 

Subtle much?

 

 

While following the Blues highway is the big pull for this trip up the Mississippi the food is also a powerful attraction.  Crunchy pieces of fried chicken,  huge racks of ribs, biscuits and gravy, grits - what's not to like? Well, grits actually.  Not much to like about grits.  Coarsely ground maize kernels boiled with water or milk - as delicious as it sounds.

 

Driving the long, flat and extremely boring trip from Memphis to Nashville we take a break about halfway, turning off the freeway when we see a promising sign for a restaurant.  Bear in mind, promising very rarely delivers. Such as when we see a farmers' market sign proclaiming Peaches. Yum, we think. Uh uhh.  "Oh no ma'am, we don't have any peaches, that's just our sign".  We bought tomatoes, and they were delicious.

 

Fried chicken

 

Gus's

In Memphis they told us Gus's is the last word in fried chicken.  True, it was darn good and they turn it out by the coop load with creamy mashed potatoes and coleslaw. 

How much chicken is too much?

 

Even better than the chicken? Our waitress Shalonda's false eyelashes.  

Shalonda's awesome lashes

 

 

 

So a restaurant in whoknowswhere Tennessee didn't make us very excited, but hey we needed a bathroom and it was past lunchtime.  It turns out Patty's in Wildersville might just be the best fried chicken in America.  

 

 

Chastity with two plates of chicken

We enter a place so clean and, gosh darn it, down home we couldn't help but order lunch.  $9.95 brought 4 pieces of crunchy crumbed juicy chicken, mashed potato and coleslaw the like of which the Colonel would turn in his bow tie for.  Chastity, our waitress, told us "I'm not gonna lie, it's the best fried chicken I ever ate, and I'm not just saying that 'cos I work here".  So we ordered it.

Ribs Memphis, and word is - Rendezvous has the best ribs.  They don't. And we're yet to find the best. 

 

Rendezvous ribs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eat here

Barbecue  As Cleatus (yes) our Uber driver says "you caint beat barbecue and cold beer. No sir". Who are we to argue?  

Going the whole hog

Martin's in Nashville had every right to be proud.  Whole hogs roasted every day,  four BBQ pits, 24 hours cooking time.  The sign says it all.

     

No microwave no freezer

Memphis 2: fun for the hunter-gatherer

Memphis 2: fun for the hunter-gatherer

The thought of a massive shopping centre isn't usually cause for the h-g's eyes to light up.  That is until we get to Memphis and he hears about Bass Pro Shops. This is 22 million cubic feet - you read that right - under one roof.  

Luckily that roof is pointy as this is a pyramid and most of those cubic feet are thin air, but that still means two full floors of huntin', shootin', fishin' paraphernalia.  From a custom made $22,000 Beretta shotgun to a camo pattern easy chair, it's ALL here.  As you can imagine, I was weak with excitement at the prospect of the hours the h-g would spend looking at fishing tackle.  

Amanda and I amused ourselves by engaging in conversation with a shop assistant (where y'all from?) who schooled us on US immigration  - "ya'lls lucky - in Noo Zealand they caint just walk over the border" - and international diplomacy and internal politics  "five years ago Putin said America would be four countries an' it's happenin'. I wish California would be it's own country - those rich people don't understand middle America and now they won't let him (the President) get on with the job".

We find light relief in the Beretta gallery "1 of only 7 in the world!".  Andrew, a lovely salesman opened the multiply locked gun cases and let us rack sidearms and crack shotguns. 

The h-g was still looking at fishing tackle so we calmed ourselves by going to the 84,000 gallon alligator pit, handily located next to the children's department. The alligators were doing what alligators do 99% of the time.  Exactly nothing.  

Once enough fishing flies had been examined and purchased we all rode the tallest free standing elevator in America to the top of the pyramid, 300 feet above Memphis and the Mississippi River. 

Mercifully there was a bar to go along with the 360 degree views.